Heartbeat  Conflict Consulting for Faith Communities


 


 

Confronting the Plague of Narcissist Pastors
 
Types of organizations I have worked with include:
Hospitals
Medical Practice
Churches
Public and Private Schools
Colleges
Medical School
Hotels
Religious Denominations
Non Profits
Community Organizations
Nurses
Police
City Government

and many more...



The new book is almost ready!
LET US PREY – THE PLAGUE OF NARCISSIST PASTORS is not currently available and has been temporarily pulled from publication pending revisions.
I was physically ill on July 28 when I learned for certain that the scoring key to the Netherlands Narcissism Scale, which supplied the data for the book, had been intentionally altered. On top of that, the NNS was misrepresented to me (and to you through me) regarding what it identifies. It does NOT identify Narcissistic Personality Disorder as I had been told. The data and conclusions from the study are invalid.
I notified the publisher as soon as I confirmed what had happened, and we agreed on the course of action. I am rewriting the manuscript and eliminating all references to the NNS and the invalid data. Instead, I am focusing on rounding out the book by adding stories from victims of narcissist pastors and real-time strategies to deal with narcissists.
The book will be published as a revised edition in a few months.
The good news is that I have it in writing that I had no knowledge of the changed scoring key or that the data and conclusions were invalid.
It is embarrassing to realize that I unintentionally misled so many people.

The manuscript is complete and with the publisher.


Title: We Pray, They Prey - Recognizing and Countering Narcissist Pastors

Much of the material from Let Us Prey has been updated and expanded, I have added several stories sent to me by readers. They are lightly edited to protect identities, but that is all. The stories are raw and they are real. 

I have also added a chapter on the Narcissist Pastor as Spouse and Parent (Hint: They are terrible at both).

The book will be available in print and digital formats at the same time.



Welcome to Heartbeat Conflict Consulting, online conflict consulting for faith communities.

My name is Darrell Puls and I have worked in organizational conflict management for more than 40 years.  Whether large or small, religious or secular, public or private, conflicts within organizations cost much more than many think. It includes lost time, lowered quality, sabotage, increased sick time, poor morale, employee turnover, and drastically lowered support from members and customers.

Organizational conflicts that are allowed to grow, and they WILL grow unless positive steps are taken, can eventually destroy the enterprise.

I am a professional mediator, researcher, writer, and conflict interventionist with more than 40 years of experience and training. I have served churches and denominations across North America as an on-site consultant, interventionist, and Peacemaker. 

In recent years I have specialized in researching, writing, and working directly with churches that have a pastor with strong narcissistic problems.

I am available by phone for consultations.

Call or email me. Initial consultations are always free. 
Phone: 509.308.2737

Dr. Darrell Puls


Healing after a narcissist pastor is impossible without authentic forgiveness!

That does not mean that the pastor faces no consequences or that what he or she did was acceptable. Just the opposite. It means that what happened was real and it did real harm to the congregation! It means that we as members must confront what happened head on. We must remember clearly - and examine ourselves for how we treated each other during the conflict. We must then offer - and seek - healing forgiveness from each other. 

Churches that have been through destructive conflict face a dilemma: they know they need to forgive and reconcile, but pastors rarely have any training in how to lead the process. And so they guess, but it almost always ends at a place where they declare, "Now we just have to leave it up to the Holy Spirit" and hope for the best.

No more! This dynamic, Holy Spirit-led process opens the doors to authentic forgiveness and healthy reconciliation. It takes wounded relationships into deep healing and leaves them stronger than they were before the conflict.

The Road Home is the perfect companion book to We Pray, They Prey - Recognizing and Countering Narcissist Pastors. Every church that has experienced a toxic narcissist pastor will have deep, festering wounds that cry out for healing.

The contents and premises of  The Road Home  have been scrutinized by top scholars, researchers, and practitioners. The foreword is by Everett Worthington, Jr., one of the most famous and respected forgiveness researchers and writers in the world. The book has also been endorsed by Dr. Tim Clinton, President of the American Association of Christian Counselors, and Dr. Paul Regan, President of the Christian Association for Psychological Studies.

The Road Home is available from booksellers worldwide in paperback and digital formats, including.